Scribblings from the traveling journal.

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

My mind didn’t stop after the baby was born. True, everything seemed golden and wonderful and that moment… that moment when I saw Joshua was coming… I’m quite speechless, actually. His first minute on this earth, his first breath, his first gaze at his mamma, his life. Fresh and new and perfect. I wish my mind would have stopped there but it didn’t.

Today I saw more than a baby be born. I saw into the reality of a 15 year old girl. I held her hand and propped her up when she couldn’t do it alone. I locked eyes with her scared face and saw something equally as beautiful as her precious little one. I saw Jesus. I felt his love for her as I stood there wishing so badly to do anything to help take her pain away.

Who is Joshua going to be?

How long will his innocence be kept sacred?

Will he know the Lord?

Will his Mum know how to raise him?

Will she still love him even though someday he won’t seem as precious as a newborn baby?

Will Joshua ever be able to call a man father?

There is so much more to this than I thought. I was just coming to simply deliver babies right?

A day with a midwife.

a day with a midwife from Richard Simmons on Vimeo.

do i often answer my own questions? yes.

why does life suck sometimes?

because Jesus said it would.

{James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-7}

why do i have to sacrifice sometimes?

because Jesus sacrificed everything so i could have life.

why am i surprised when things are hard?

because the world tells me that everything should be easy.

why do i choose to believe the world?

because i have an enemy who is subtle.

but he's so unoriginal.

seriously man.. i can see you comin from a mile away.

God is stronger.

do i always feel this truth? no.

does that make it any less true? no.

God is more creative.

he speaks to the individual.

he loves endlessly.

i expect hard things to happen.

does it make it any easier when they do? not much.

can i trust in a faithful God? mhm.

clinging to this truth.

this inspires me.

Breathing deep the day..

Learning. Feeling alive in it. A little bit doubtful in it. Sometimes facing the day is hard. Wondering if it will stay like this. Mmm desiring to let go of it.. To let it be a part of me. Learning to learn.

Longing for familiarity. This will become familiar soon. It's already starting. Do we get to decide what becomes familiar? I guess it's whatever we are in at the moment. I don't think wanting familiar is wrong. I just know that familiar will change for me soon. In about two months I leave for the beautiful country of Africa. And there I will experience a newness.. and that will become the new familiar. A never felt before familiar.. And in May I will be off to exciting India. And familiar will change then, too. Haha.. I really don't want to start thinking about what happens after India because I don't know. But for right now, I'm in Perth, Australia learning how to care for mother and baby. Breathing deep the day! Desiring for God to bring a familiarity of his presence. So that no matter where I am I will be familiar with his voice.. that's the kind of familiar I long for.