A day with a midwife.

a day with a midwife from Richard Simmons on Vimeo.

do i often answer my own questions? yes.

why does life suck sometimes?

because Jesus said it would.

{James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-7}

why do i have to sacrifice sometimes?

because Jesus sacrificed everything so i could have life.

why am i surprised when things are hard?

because the world tells me that everything should be easy.

why do i choose to believe the world?

because i have an enemy who is subtle.

but he's so unoriginal.

seriously man.. i can see you comin from a mile away.

God is stronger.

do i always feel this truth? no.

does that make it any less true? no.

God is more creative.

he speaks to the individual.

he loves endlessly.

i expect hard things to happen.

does it make it any easier when they do? not much.

can i trust in a faithful God? mhm.

clinging to this truth.

this inspires me.

Breathing deep the day..

Learning. Feeling alive in it. A little bit doubtful in it. Sometimes facing the day is hard. Wondering if it will stay like this. Mmm desiring to let go of it.. To let it be a part of me. Learning to learn.

Longing for familiarity. This will become familiar soon. It's already starting. Do we get to decide what becomes familiar? I guess it's whatever we are in at the moment. I don't think wanting familiar is wrong. I just know that familiar will change for me soon. In about two months I leave for the beautiful country of Africa. And there I will experience a newness.. and that will become the new familiar. A never felt before familiar.. And in May I will be off to exciting India. And familiar will change then, too. Haha.. I really don't want to start thinking about what happens after India because I don't know. But for right now, I'm in Perth, Australia learning how to care for mother and baby. Breathing deep the day! Desiring for God to bring a familiarity of his presence. So that no matter where I am I will be familiar with his voice.. that's the kind of familiar I long for.

I like that.

Do you know the feeling.. when you're in a far away place, and you look at a picture and you put yourself in that picture and not in the far away place anymore? That happens to me every time I check my email or look at pictures on facebook. I'm sitting here in the lounge.. all the way in Australia.. but when I start reading the words.. the couch I'm sitting on disappears and so do the voices going on around me.. and the ceiling and walls turn into the beautiful landscapes of Pennsylvania. I put myself right into the picture and think about what would be going on if I were right there. And then I shut the computer and realize I'm so so far away. It's always this smack of reality. Usually I'm so busy that I can only think about it for a minute or so.. but other times it really hurts. Like I physically feel the pain of being gone all over again.. I love being in the perfect will of God.. but it's hard. It doesn't always feel wonderful and great everyday. It's a challenge sometimes to remember that this is right timing. As I continue to read my bible and pray and be here learning, God reminds me of his good plans for me. He also reminds me that its ok to miss home. Hey! I'm glad for where I came from-that's a good thing. I like that.

I think I'll go home, have some tea and read The Count of Monte Cristo until I fall asleep.